Ask A Guru: Wedding Gift Dilemma

March 2, 2011    |    By +
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As Gift Gurus, it’s our job to be able to solve all gifting dilemma’s big and small. We’re constantly fielding questions from friends, family and coworkers on how to track down the perfect gift. So we figure, why not share our expertise with all of you!

If you’ve got a gift question, we’ve got answers. Send your gifting queries to, and we’ll post them on the blog.  Happy Gifting!

Q: My friend is getting married and I’m going to be a bridesmaid. The problem is, the wedding has been pushed to only 2 months away so that means I have to pay for both cross-country plane tickets for me and my date, as well as a bridal shower gift and wedding gift all around the same time. Do I spend equal amounts of money on both gifts?

A: Everyone is more budget conscious these days, so nobody is expecting overly pricey gifts.  If you’re in the wedding, it is tradition to give both a bridal shower gift and a wedding gift.  The general rule of thumb for bridal shower gifts is $25-$75, but considering your situation I would say $50 would be enough. If it’s a couple’s shower, than stick with home gifts they can both use, but if it’s just for the ladies, you could get something fun for just the bride to enjoy. Stay away from the raunchy stuff though, since the bride’s family is usually present at the shower.

For the wedding gift itself, the usual range for someone who is a close friend or family is $100, but I would say anything $75 would be enough. The couple will appreciate anyone who’s traveling a great distance for their special day, so even if you get them something small for the wedding, they consider your presence at the wedding a gift in itself. You can always split the cost of presents with your significant others or another bridesmaid and/or guest.

For more more wedding gift etiquette, check out out exclusive guide.

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Meet the Gurus

Kathryn D.W.
Kathryn Drury Wagner is the senior manager of content at She was formerly the executive editor at Honolulu Magazine, and is the author of The Ultimate Guide to Shopping on Oahu. Her career has included staff positions at Country Living Gardener and Power & Motoryacht. Her latest book is "Hawaii's Strangest, Ickiest, Wildest Book Ever!"

Gwen P.
Gwen is the Editorial Curator at In addition to writing blogs, she creates gift guides, curates the site, and produces content for our social media channels. As a freelance writer, she created blogs on fashion, art, travel, health and lifestyle. A talented jewelry designer, she's also a yogi and a hospital volunteer with her therapy dog, Lilo, a Pomeranian.